Dearest Shane
by L.I.V.E.x.L.O.V.E
Summary: Shane Gray is a secret agent. Or was. He was pronounced dead 2 years ago, and his wife Mitchie Torres hasn't seen him in three. She's been writing him for all the time they've been apart. What happens when he finally contacts her? T FOR SAFETY! SxM


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
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_Chapter One:_

_When it falls apart_

_And you're feeling lost_

_All your hope is gone_

_Don't forget to_

_Hold on_

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_Dearest Shane,_

_It's Libby's birthday today. Oh wait, excuse me. It's Elizabeth's birthday today. She's grown up so much Shane, and your not even here to see it. She turned thirteen, and I finally caved and got her that cell phone she's been begging me for. You know how much I oppose to children having those brain killers. I might regret it one day, but the look she gave me when she saw it… Shane, you should have been there. It just filled my heart! I always get a little soft when I look into her big chocolate eyes, though. They just remind me of you so much. I can't believe it's been three years already. Three whole years of me constantly staring at the phone, or the door. I'm probably the only one who still believes you're coming back. They've all lost hope, but I promise I never will. I don't know what kind of trouble you've gotten yourself into, but you'd better get out of it. I'm serious Shane! If you don't I just might die. I can't spend another night without you by my side, I can't carry on like nothing's wrong, I can't go on another one of those darn dates my sister forces me to attend, but most of all, I can't keep wiping your daughter's tears when she asks about you. I just can't! I can't do it anymore! It's breaking my heart, or at least whatever is left of it. I hate how things were when you left. I hate myself for it everyday. I hate myself, because maybe if that hadn't happened you'd still be here. Maybe…Gosh, I hate you! You're making me cry. You know how much I hate crying. I know you're not dead like everyone else says. I sat through your funeral and I watched everyone cry there eyes out, but all I did was glare at them for giving up on you. They haven't even found your body for goodness sakes! I just…I need something. I need you to send me something, to let me know you're alright. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. Just please, Shane. I've been writing you for three years, and you've sent me nothing in return. I think I've waited long enough. I love you so much, but you're killing me inside. You told me, if anything happened, I could send you a letter to this address to contact you. So prove it. Please. _

_Love you always,_

_Mitchie_

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I was killing her? She was killing me! It broke my heart to know just how much pain she was going through. It almost made me want to write her back, just this once. I yearned to grab a piece of paper and a pen, but I refrained from doing so. I knew all to well what would happen if I did.

I jumped in my truck, and thought about everything I was missing right now. Gosh, Libby was really thirteen already? I can only imagine how beautiful she's grown up to be. I suddenly felt a frown grace my forehead as I realized how many boys were probably attempting to charm her, with their smooth talk and subtle actions. I gripped the steering wheel more tightly. I needed to be there to put those boys in their place. I didn't need to be around to know how soft Mitchie probably acted towards them. She'd give Libby the world and back, so I doubt she'd show much resistance toward any guy if our daughter liked him. I on the other hand, am far more cautious. Well, I normally am. If I had been cautious I wouldn't even be in this position.

I hit the dashboard in a sudden outburst of raw anger, and turned the car on before slamming on the gas petal.

_I was mad._ I tried to remind myself. I was mad at Mitchie. Not for reasons she thought, though. No, I was mad because for once she had been right. She was so right, and now she hated herself for it. I wished with everything in me that I could tell her otherwise. Then again, I wished I could do a lot of things to her.

I sighed.

She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be receiving the consequences for my mistakes. She didn't deserve the life of a single parent. She didn't deserve the life of a widow. She didn't deserve the threat of death unknowingly floating around her head. She didn't deserve any of it at all, and I didn't deserve her. She still believed in me. The thought brought tears to my eyes. It's been three years, and she still believes in me.

The phone suddenly rang, pulling me from my thoughts. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, before I scrambled to answer it. I was excited, yet terrified, that Mitchie had finally found my number. I quickly maneuvered my hand under the seat, and I frowned when I picked it up and found it wasn't ringing. Then fire grew in my eyes as realization hit me. How dare they call me? I angrily hit the button for my hazard lights twice before turning the radio dial to ninety-eight point one, and a compartment opened in the ceiling of the car. I flicked the flap open, and snapped my fingers three times before a tiny box fell into my hand. I then stuck the thin box in the area CD's were supposed to be placed, and waited for the device to begin working.

"Hello?"

"What do you want?" I answered viciously.

A deep chuckle rang through the car's speakers, "Ah, Shane. It's been a while. Did you miss me?"

"Don't call me that." My patience thinning even more, if that were possible.

"Don't call you Shane? Oh, but Mr. Grey, last time I checked that was your name." I could practically see his evil smirk as he spoke. "At least that's what your darling Michelle calls you. By the way Elizabeth's birthday was last week. What a sight to see she is! I only wish you weren't cooperating so I could get my hands on her!"

I growled, "You sick !"

He chuckled once again, "As fun as you are to tease, I have more important things to discuss. Like the death of Alex Stanton. Make it happen now!"

"You can not be serious. I have been going around acting like your top rank hit man for three years. You want the job done; it's going to get done my way."

"Listen kid. I don't give a crap what _way_ it gets done. All I know is that it better get done tonight. If not, your beautiful wife's neighbor won't be so friendly anymore."

I grew silent, before desperately trying to hide the fear in my voice, "It'll get done Marcelli. It'll get done."

I then took the box out of the CD compartment quickly, refusing to hear another word. I then drove on, just a little bit faster.

My phone rang, this time my real one, and I answered it gruffly, "Make it quick."

"I know we've gone over this a hundred times, but I just wanted to thank you for finally meeting with me. I can't express enough, how grateful I am. I just wanted you to know, I'm at your service Agent Gray." An overly excited teenager spoke into the phone loudly.

I sighed, and a look of pain replaced the annoyed look on my face as I closed my eyes.

"Good to know." I clicked the 'end call' button on my phone fast.

The reason that kid wanted to be a spy I would never know, and it pained me to know he would never fulfill his dream. Tonight, I would finally cross the line I had so clearly painted for myself. Tonight, I would kill an innocent boy with a large inheritance. I hated that he trusted me so easily.

Alex Stanton better watch out, because _he _was my target.

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_Mitchie's POV_

I sighed, as I stood in the doorway, watching Libby sleep. Last night had been tough. I could still see the tearstains on her precious little face. Well, not so little anymore, I reminded myself.

_**Flashback**_

_The scraping of forks against plates was all that could be heard in the large house. The tension was completely and utterly unbearable. _

_I finally put my fork down, and just stared at her. She thought I was oblivious, but I could tell that the stony, cold gaze she held was only a front for the true hurt she was feeling. Just seeing her like this broke my heart. I had wanted her to approach me first, but this was getting ridiculous. It had been a whole week since her birthday, and she hadn't shed a tear._

"_Libby…" I started._

"_Elizabeth." Her reply was short and cold. I only frowned in response, knowing deep down that it was just a matter of time before she cracked. _

_I continued to stare at the girl who was almost the spitting image of Shane. _

_She abruptly slammed her fork down, "What do want from me mom? Gosh, stop looking at me like that!"_

_I raised my eyebrows, slightly surprised at her anger._

"_I mean goodness!" She continued, "What do want me to say? That I'm upset I spent my birthday without dad for the third time? That thirteen is a very important number, and he wasn't even here to share it with us? That I hated seeing all my friend's dads drop them off at my party, but my own father wasn't even there? That I have to keep fighting this battle inside my head, because everyone tells me dad's dead but you tell me otherwise? That it's finally starting to sink in that dad's gone, and he may never becoming back? Is that what you want me to say? Is it?" By now she was screaming and tears were pouring down her face._

_I jumped from my seat at the table, and rushed to her side, pulling her into my motherly embrace and guided her to the couch. _

"_Oh, Libby!" I choked, tears threatening to spill from my own eyes._

_She curled up against me and bawled, "It hurts mommy. It really hurts." _

_I used all the power within me to stay strong, "I know it does sweetie, but you know if your dad could be here, he would."_

_She shook her head angrily, "No I don't! If he's alive, then he should be here! There is no excuse! If he really loved me…" She choked before bursting into a whole new set of tears. _

_I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I grabbed her chin firmly, "Now you listen to me Libby. Your father is alive, and he has a darn good reason for not being here. He loves you more than life itself, and don't you ever forget that! Do you hear me?"_

_She shook her head in agreement, and laid her head against my chest, the tears never ceasing. _

_I stroked her black curls gently, and prayed Shane would return home soon._

_**Flashback End**_

I broke away from my thoughts, as I heard the doorbell ring.

Wondering who it could be, I pulled my robe closer to my body, and pattered down the stairs.

A sharp knock was heard. Whoever it was, wasn't exactly being patient.

"I'm coming! Jeez!" I called in annoyance. If they kept it up, they would wake Libby, and I honestly didn't want that right now. She needed her sleep.

I opened the door, and frowned in surprise. "Ben?"

"You don't make a sound, and this becomes a lot easier for both of us." He responded.

"What?" I quickly replied in confusion before I felt a gun pressing against my temple, and my body froze. Then I grinned on the inside, for one thing was now certain.

Shane was alive.

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**A/N: I love reviews! You could really make my day by giving me one! (:**

**The song was 'Hold On' by The Jonas Brothers.**


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